Jack Paramore 1936-2023
On July 18, 2023, my father, Jack Paramore, passed from this life to the next. It was a bitter loss for us. At his funeral service on July 23, 2023, all of his children spoke. My brother brought the main message, but all four of his daughters shared their memories. Here is what I shared about my father, God’s step-in parent for me here on earth.
The last time I talked to Dad was Tuesday, July. 18, 2023 at about 8 a.m. My husband, Bill, and I were out for a walk. I had tried a few times in the last couple weeks to get him on the phone but it always went to voicemail. Phone conversations with Dad have been difficult for a few years now because before he went to Heaven he wasn’t hearing very well. So for the last couple of years if I had something serious to tell him, I’d email him first and then call him later.
But Tuesday morning he could actually hear me! And he sounded so good. We didn’t talk long, only 9 minutes, but it was a fun conversation. We talked about how tough surgery is, my health and his, but mostly he talked about how beautiful the day was. He asked how various people were doing. He seemed content.
So I was shocked when Sterl called me at 2:30 with the news.
Dad’s passing was not a surprise, but it was a shock.
Dad and Bill, July 4, 2019
Today you’ll hear a lot of sentimental things about Dad, and I have a long list of those things to say too. Dad was sincere and supportive. He always knew the right thing to say. I trusted his connection to our heavenly father, and so, so many times in the last 40 years I’ve leaned on him. He once physically picked me up during one of the worst moments of my life, carried me up the stairs to my bed, tucked me in and laid at the foot of the bed all night long with his hand on my foot.
Through the years when I ran across something in scripture that I didn’t understand, I’d call him and ask for an explanation. When I “discovered” something brand new in the scripture I’d call him all excited, as if he didn’t already know it was there..
Dad was a Godly man, but there was a dark side to him. He cheated at golf.
Me and Dad, Saint Andrews, Scotland, May 2012
When I started playing golf in 2011 he was skeptical, but he got on board really fast when he realized that the trips we would take together in the future wouldn’t just include museums and such. We would go on to play some of the best courses in the world! In fact, I’ve played more golf with my dad than any other person besides my husband, who started out as my golf pro.
It’s a good thing I started dating Bill when I did, because by that time I’d had three years of playing golf with Dad and I thought my handicap was 9 strokes lower than it actually was. See, Jack did not properly keep score - because if you asked HIM, he hadn’t missed an 8-foot putt in 20 years.
But that’s just because he hadn’t ATTEMPTED an 8-foot putt in 20 years. The guys he played with at Castle Bay would just give those putts to him!!! All he had to do was get on the green somewhere inside 20 feet.
Golf tournament in West Virginia with Buddy Butler and Greg Haynes.
One day when we were playing at Castle Bay, Dad missed his first putt, and rather angrily tapped the next in for bogey (a 5 on a par 4), Dad walked off the green and said “I’ll take a 4.”
And I said, “What? You don’t get to TAKE a 4. You missed the par putt. I SAW 5!”
To which he replied, “Well, I would have made that putt.”
To which I said, “WHEN would you have made that putt? Would you have made it yesterday? Would you make it tomorrow? Would you make it if you tried it again right now? Because you DID NOT MAKE THAT PUTT!”
I wrote a 5 down on the card.
There is no mercy in golf!
He was easy with the compliments when we were playing. If I made a good stroke he’d say something like. “Good shot. Looks like one of mine.”
Bill, my golf pro turned husband, was a little taken aback when he first heard my trash-talking on the course when we first started playing golf together, but then he met my Dad and he said the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
The Great Paramore Scrabble Tournament, Wilmington, NC, February 2023.
Dad also cheated at Scrabble - trying to play the old-man sympathy card - we didn’t let him get away with that either. Scrabble is a blood sport in the Paramore family.
There are many things in my life for which I am deeply grateful; my husband, my children, my grandchildren, my brother and sisters, my friends, my career. But above all of those is this thing…
Jack Paramore was my father. And I know that he loved me.
In fact, I know that he loves me still, but I don’t think he’s looking down on us right now.
I think he’s too busy with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob
Samuel, Isaiah and David
John, and Paul…and JESUS.
Soak it up, Dad! You’re at the banquet table!
And I’ll bet you make all your putts up there.
I love you.
